15 April 2012

But it's just keratin! and other things that don't provide any comfort

Whoa...March 3? That was the last time I posted? Well, look, stuff happens, right? One day Eamon will look back at all these entries and see the giant hole and ask, "What happened there, Mom?" and I'm going to look at him knowingly and say, "Stuff, darling. Stuff. A lot of it."

But now is not the time to discuss any of that stuff. Now is the time to discuss something that I've mentioned before, though I doubt that anyone remembers and might worry just a tad about your sanity if you did: Eamon's toenails.

Eamon has possibly the weirdest toenails. You've seen what happens when people decide to go for the Guiness Book of World Records and grow their nails freakishly long so that they (the nails) curl around?

Well, Eamon's nails do that, even before they've gotten off the edge of the toe. To make matters worse, he screams bloody murder each time you go near him with a nail clipper. Always has. He's generally such a calm, laid back kid that even though I know that nails are made of keratin and have no nerves, I find myself wondering if maybe, just maybe, it really does hurt when I cut his toenails.

I try using logic: "Eamon, it I DON'T cut your toenails and they all get in-grown and that will REALLY hurt." He remains unswayed, as evidenced by his screaming and crying. I've tried singing or making it into a game. I've tried distracting him. There is nothing, nothing, that can make him feel better except for me to PUT AWAY THE NAIL CLIPPER ALREADY.

Perhaps the hardest thing is knowing that I am willfully doing something that is causing my child pain, whether it be physical or emotional.

No one else ever cuts Eamon's toenails. They are more than welcome to, but strangely enough, no one ever volunteers. And I get it. It's a miserable experience. Occasionally I have assistance, but I've learned how to sort of sit on him so that he doesn't squirm and make the clippers slip.

Someday, of course, he'll get it. One day, when he has a child of his own and he's sitting on her as she screams like he's ripping out rather than cutting her toenails, he'll realize that as much as he hated getting his toenails cut, I hated it more and what it took for me to do it anyway.

Because sometimes...you just have to get your toenails cut, Eamon Wolfe.

I love you, kiddo.

Now let's go do some stuff.